It's got to be real...

Tomorrow, my little family will set out on our annual hunting expedition. We'll go armed with warm clothing, sharp implements and keen eyes for picking out the perfect specimen.

I like to do things the old fashioned way.

Sure you get buy them at the supermarket, the gas station or many vendors who dot the streets at this time of year. Somehow, going out and wrestling the thing with your own bare hands just adds to the experience. A little snow on the ground only adds to the festive feel.

Nope, Deer season is over. Now it's Christmas Tree season.

Living here in Vermont, there's no shortage of tree farms that cater to the 'cut it yourself' crowd. Searching row upon row of potential candidates adds to the excitement of finding that pine with the perfect symmetry, right height and correct degree of bushiness. There follows some crawling around on the ground, pruning of lower limbs and general huffing and puffing as the bow saw is put to use toppling the lucky winner.

At this point one realizes that it's a half mile uphill back to the car, dragging an 80 pound conifer. It's all good exercise, right ?

Still, nothing beats the aroma of a real pine tree at Christmas. We've never had a fake one, and I just cannot imagine they're the same. Not only is the smell different, but where's the fun in dragging a dusty old box out of the attic every year ?

Give me the thrill of the hunt anytime.

Oh Lord, another one

You just can't slow down old Father Time. His brother, The Grim Reaper, needs the business.

Yes follks, it's my birthday again. Happens every year. I'm not really morbid about the whole thing - it's more a sense of resignation that there's not a darn thing I can do about it.

I'm enjoying my thirties, and I'll be sad to see them go. No doubt I'll probably enjoy my forties, too, but I'm rather attached to this decade of life and would love to keep it indefinitely.

Possibly the biggest redeeming factor about the advance of years is the increasing enjoymnet and wonder that I experience as a parent.

I do enjoy the odd present here and there. I most certainly enjoy a Birthday dinner. The best gift I've had all day is the hug and 'Happy Birthday Daddy' I received from my daughter first thing this morning.

Right now my two children are pretending to be hockey players (ice hockey) and are 'skating' around the kitchen. My daughter has butterfly wings and a ballerina skirt. Priceless.

Fifty words for snow

Apparently, so everyone will tell you, Eskimos have fifty words for snow.

Researching this I have come to discover that this isn't strictly accurate, and is in fact just an arbitrary number that someone came up with since it sounded impressive. The reality isn't that interesting, and another nice idea goes down the drain.

I am not one of these people that await the arrival of the first flakes with giddy anticipation. I am not an avid skier, snowboarder, nordic skier or snowmobiler. I'll snowshoe from time to time, but only because I like to hike and it's easier that way.

In all its gleaming sunlit virgin glory, snow can be a wonderful sight. Unfortunately, it often doesn't take that form and can be an enormous pain in the rear.

Today's minor snowfall (the Weather Service keeps changing the forecast from 5-7 inches this morning, to less than one inch at 6pm, and now 1-2 inches) is one such weather event. It's slushy. It's wet. It's annoying to clean off of things. So, in my mind it shouldn't occupy the same word. This is more like 'frozen accumulating precipitation'. Catchy, huh ?

So, we need more than one word in the English language to describe snow. If any of the people who decide these things are reading, I'd like you to consider this and make the appropriate changes. Let me know when you're done.

Thank you.

Giving Thanks

This is one of my favorite times of year. Not just because my birthday is right around the corner, but because of the Thanksgiving Holiday.

Unlike most other overhyped, oversold, or plain overwhelming holidays, Thanksgiving has somehow escaped the overcommercialism of Christmas and Easter. It's a holiday that everyone gets to celebrate - regardless of race, colour, religion, sexual orientation and income. The simple thing about Thanksgiving is that it's really just about that - gathering together and being thankful. For your family, friends and what you have. You don't have to thank God - whichever or whatever deity you worship - it's more about just being reflective and stopping to take a minute.

I also enjoy the general lack of stress prior to the actual day. There's no tree, lights, presents, cards, religious services or TV specials. Other than making sure you have the requisite Turkey, trimmings and plenty of booze - it's all pretty low key.

Being a relative newcomer to the US (going on 13 years now), I immediately took to Thanksgiving. We didn't have it in England, and here was a time of year when you could get together, have a great meal and get a day off work without stressing about it for a month. It's also nice to throw political correctness to the wind and be able to wish all and sundry a 'Happy Thanksgiving !' without concern of offending someone's religious sensibilities.

This year will be a bit different. My wife and children will be at her parents' in Connecticut. I'm on call for the Ambulance that day, so I'll be here at home. The rest of my crew will be coming over for dinner, and we'll all sup ginger ale and hope we don't get called. It'll be nice, though. A different kind of family, but one I'm just as thankful for.

So, to any reader - no matter where you are in the World - take a moment next Thursday and join the millions of Americans in being just a little more thankful for the gifts that we have, and remember the millions who aren't as fortunate.

Another FIRE

I wonder if undertakers feel guilty when another stiff comes rolling in. On the one hand, it means business. On the other, someone had to die. Still, it wasn't the undertaker who was responsible for them dying, just cleaning things up.

The same is true of fireman, I guess. I mean, we don't make the fires (Ok, some firefighters have been arrested for arson, but not as a rule) we just go put them out.

Our first real chimney fire of the year. If there was ever a better demonstration of why you should clean your chimney, this was it. I'm amazed the smoke could even make it to the top, there was so much creosote and soot caked in the flue. He was lucky, though - he didn't lose the house and has only a bit of a cracked chimney and some smoke damage. Could have been a lot worse.

Still, It's nice to be needed.

Oh, BUGGER !

Many moons ago, back in my oh so distant carefree youth, I buggered up my knee. Whatever I did caused my knee to swell up to melon like proportions and made walking quite a challenge. Being on a hiking trip in France at the time, and without healthcare, the only solution was to rest it as much as possible and soldier on. Eventually, the swelling went away and the knee returned to normal (well, mostly normal).

Fast forward a number of years (I won't write down how many, since that alone makes me feel old), and somehow the old injury is back. I'm pretty sure that this time it objected to me crawling around on the new porch roof with a nailgun, or stepping up and down a 2 foot step every time I got up on to the porch (memo to self: build steps).

Either way, I've gone and done it in again. This time, I think I may have to actually go and see a medical professional. It must be a male thing, but I hate admitting that I actually have something WRONG with my body, and see a visit to the doctor as admitting defeat. Couple this with the general apathy of most doctors to any type of sporting activity ('Well, if it hurts, you should stop doing that activity') and I guess I haven't really seen the point. Truth is, though, I WANT to be able to take a run without shooting knee pain, and I most definitely don't want to get 'melon knee' again anytime soon - it really cramps your style.

So, off to the doc I shall go.

Nothing like a good fire...

Yesterday was something of an interesting day. As a fireman, I wouldn't say exactly that you WISH for a fire, but you're never unhappy when you get to go and put one out - no matter how small it is.

We got a tone around 10:30 or so, for a reported fire at a sugar house in town. For those who don't understand all of the complexities of maple sugar production, the sugar house is where all of the sap is stored, boiled, condensed and turned from tree sap into yummy pancake topping. This process occurs once a year at the END of winter. How does an unmanned, unheated, remote shack with no electricity catch fire ? Gooood question.

Within 10 minutes, we were at the scene which from the outset looked to be mostly a mopup job. Small structures like this one are typically down on the ground within minutes of the inception of the fire - there's so little structure to burn that it doesn't take long. Our job at this point is to cool down hot spots, rake over all of the debris and hunt for any leftover fire.

The challenge with this one was the access - a very steep, very rutted, very muddy track for about 200 yards. Hauling 2 1/2 inch line up such a track can be a challenge - even dry it weighs quite a bit. Once it's to the fire, the line is 'charged' and we go to work. If you've never operated a nozzle on the end of a 2 1/2 inch line, let me tell you - it's hard work. None of your garden hose pressure here. We're talking 150 psi, 500 gpm water monster in your hands. The job of the man on the nozzle is really just to direct the flow - not so much to hold the line. That is the job of the backup man (or preferrably two backup men). Their job is to wrestle the beast and try to keep everyone on the ground, not flying away from the back pressure (or nozzle reaction). This is hard on muddy, sloping wet ground.

Nonetheless, within a half hour the site was cool, we were much dirtier and we could go home. Which is of course, where the crappy bit starts. Now you get to drain and pack hundreds of feet of hose that has been in a mud puddle. Cart it back to the station. Hose it down, connect it back up and repack it on the truck. I'm not sure which is the dirtier job - the black fire ash, or the hose cleanup.

Either way, once all is said and done I can go home feeling I've done something useful today. Plus my bunker gear smells like fire once again.

Deadbeat

The Tavern was a small, cozy respite from the dreay November rain falling in sheets outside.

The open fire made the atmosphere warm and inviting.

The food was delicious and beautifully prepared.

The check was presented, the credit card declined. Declined ?

At such a moment (and I'm sure that at some point or another this must happen to everyone) you feel like a complete deadbeat, someone trying to sneak a bad credit card to pay your bill.

You run through the mental checklist of 'did I pay the bill' or 'did the card get cancelled' or 'did I go over my limit' ? Yes, no and no.

Rummaging through my wallet, I find the replacement. 'Here, try this one' I say, trying to sound like someone who is confident that he's not down to his last penny and desparately trying to find a card with some room left on it (been there, though). The waitress smiles, trying to give me that 'Oh, it's OK - this happens ALL the time' look, while all the while I know she's thinking 'poor bastard, he must be broke'.

The second card is accepted and no kitchen chores have to be performed before we are allowed to leave the restaurant.

I come to discover later that my credit card provider had thoughtfully sent me out an 'upgraded' card and thoughtfully cancelled the old one before I received it. It's nice to be so special.

I'm so complex

For those of you who own a Tivo, I need make no more explanantion since you are aware of the wonders of this gadget.

Any who don't should consider themselves technological neophytes beyond help, but I'll tell you just so that you understand. Tivo is sort of a cross between a VCR, a computer and Mr. Spock. It revolutionizes the process of watching TV. In addition to the interesting features of being able to pause and rewind live TV, the best part is that you can record shows by simply selecting the one you like from the guide and BOOM - every episode will be saved by the gorgeous Tivo for your viewing pleasure. What you then end up with is a library of stuff on your magic black box that you want to watch, and you can do so when the time is good for you (say, after the kids are in bed or on a Sunday afternoon instead of Thursday night at 9PM).

There is one feature that has let me down, though. Maybe it's MY fault. Maybe my viewing habits are just so extremely diverse as to define logic. Even an FBI profiler would be stumped, I suppose.

See, Tivo is supposed to look at what YOU choose to record and then by searching long and hard through its millions of upcoming shows, pick something else you might like and record it just in case you're interested. This is called 'TiVo Suggestions'.

At first, TiVo picked all kinds of stuff. Alas, all of it crap. Gradually, it must have felt shunned since I never watched any of its little video gems. Now, I think it has just given up. Poor little thing.

There must be something wrong with me.

I've come out

So, it finally happened. It's not that I was keeping it a secret, exactly. Just that I wasn't advertising it. I haven't felt that I'm living a lie or anything. It's all so innocent.

It all started as something personal - just to see if I could do it, whether I had it in me and if I could stick to it.

I didn't tell my wife just because when it all began there wasn't anything to tell, and I wanted to have something to show for it.

Anyway, thanks to my slightly nosey father, the truth came out. Now everybody in my family knows that I have a blog. Thanks, Dad.

Still, my 'modus operandi' all along was to write with the knowledge that my lovely wife would someday read every sordid word. With this in mind, I avoid all manner of potentially inflammatory topics and keep my sex life intact (thanks, honey).

Personally, I think that my family doesn't find it that interesting anyway. Hopefully they've all buggered off and left me in peace (not referring to you, honey).

Narrowband

I'm experiencing something that all 21st century, up to the minute, technologically advanced beings dread.

Dial up.

Well, not exactly dial up, but 'always on' dial up speed BROADBAND.

Maybe I should explain.

Some weeks back, my cable modem was exhibiting some annoying tendencies - such as dropping off completely for no apparent reason, staying off and then coming on again. Randomly. After much grinding of teeth, cursing at tech support and general annoyance I decided to finally switch to the 'other' broadband provider in town. (It starts with a V and ends in 'erizon').

All was well in broadband land for a while. Whizzy speeds were once more available and life was good.

Until last week. Technically, my DSL still WORKS. Just very, very slowly. More slowly than dialup, actually. Most annoyingly, it took over an hour on the phone with the tech weenies at V who make you do the whole 'Did you reboot your PC/Modem/Firewall/House' thing ad nauseum.

After finally persuading him of the reality of my situation and exhausting all possible reasons why 'this might be MY fault', they have grudgingly dispatched a technician (and by 'technician' I mean someone marginally trained in what a PC looks like who will come to my house and not fix it).

I'll keep you informed.

Stop, Drop and Roll

This week was more Fire Prevention Week (it's a long week). Even though our department isn't full time, we still take on the job of providing fire safety education to the schoolkids in town. Tuesday we were at the elementary school, teaching kids from Kindergarten (5) to 5th Grade (10) about the hazards in their home, and what to do if there is a fire.

We got to use a neat little thing called the Hazard House. This is basically a little dolls house with kitchen, living room, bedroom and so on. It has been wired with little 'smoke pots' that you fill with smoke oil, and then at the push of a button you can fill parts of it with smoke. Other hazards, like bad or overloaded wiring, gasoline stored in the basement, space heaters too close to curtains are all depicted and the kids can help you find and fix all of the various problems in the house. Then when they go home, they can 'educate' Mom and Dad to do the same.

We also talk a lot about what to do if there is a fire, having a family escape plan and meeting place and most importantly - having SMOKE DETECTORS. Every kid from the school took home a free smoke detector that day. Let's hope they all get put up on the ceiling and not just stuck in a box.

Anyway, it's a good thing to go out into the community and do something that can help to save lives, educates people a little, and is just plain fun.

If you have kids, I urge you to discuss with them what they should do when there is a fire - how to get out, and what to do if they cannot get out. Visit the fire station and meet a fireman. Kids die in fires because they hide under the bed or in a closet. The more they know, the better the chances of survival are. Yours, theirs, and also the firefighter's. If everyone gets out, we have to spend less time searching a building.

'nuf said.

The Fourth Season

Winter.

I'm not sure what happened to Fall, but it seems that Winter has brutally killed it and stuffed it under the rug. Tonight - a SNOW advisory. It probably won't amount to much, but that first time the words sneak into the weather forecast you realize that you can't kid yourself anymore. It's a reality. Only 6 months until Spring !

My folks took off back to England after a lovely 4 week stay. It's nice to have Mum & Dad around for a while. Sort of odd, too. Kind of like moving home again, but in your own house. I must say, though, that I enjoyed the taste of my childhood in the form of Mum's Steak & Kidney pie. Mmm.

I'm also a glutton for punishment, and have joined the Ambulance department here in town. I must enjoy getting woken up at odd hours. My first night on call we had a run at around midnight. Got home at 2:45 or so. Back in bed by 4 after a cuppa and some calming TV.

Frenzy

It's funny. You never realized that your home was either (a) so messy or (b) so tatty around the edges - until you throw a party.

We're now two days out, and my wife is beginning the female party ritual of micro cleaning every thing in sight, preparing enough food to last a hibernating pack of bears until 2007 and generally stressing about anything possible.

I, on the other hand, am Mr. Super Productive Handyman Person. All of those jobs that you think 'Oh, that'll take too long, I'll do that next week/month/year' are getting tackled, and many are EVEN getting finished. It's also obligingly been pouring/drizzling/rainy/misty for the last 5 days, so I've been halted on my main project (the porch - haven't you been paying attention ?).

My project frenzy is mostly because our house has been 'under construction' for going on 3 years, and for many of our guests this will be their first glimpse inside our little palace. It's fine that I can live with all of these half completed or 'just liveable enough' areas, but I wouldn't want our friends thinking 'Ooh, is that ALL that they've done' ?

Most of the work was below the surface, really. No, really, really. Come into the basement and I'll prove it.

Fire Prevention Week

This week (October 9-15) is Fire Prevention Week in the US. As a Firefighter, part of my job is public education. Here's my public safety announcement.




- If you don't have them, BUY SMOKE DETECTORS. They DO save lives.

- If you do have smoke detectors, change the batteries twice a year. Right now. Go on, do it.

- Use candles with care. According to the NFPA, candles started more than 18,000 fires in 2002 and claimed over 130 lives. They only romantic until you burn your house down. Click the link above for more info.

Sleepy epic

I generally take the opinion of movie critics with more than a generous pinch of salt, since I feel that they're jaded by watching too many bad films and have standards that may be higher than mine. If anything I tend to seek out the audience's take on a flick (usefully provided by many movie sites).

There are times, though, when the critics are 100% absolutely, positively right.

'Alexander' is one such cinematic cow pat.

Despite the impressive cast and directorial credentials, lashings of special effects and a semi true story of adventure it was an impossibly long, tediously dull experience. I actually walked away after about an hour and a half, had a drink and a nibble, browsed the web, read a few blogs and came back hoping for it to be over. It wasn't. I suffered as long as I could before realizing that it just wasn't worth staying awake for, turned it off and went to bed.

I don't see my job as that of telling people what to listen to or watch, but heed these words - DO NOT WATCH THIS FILM. RUN AWAY. Watch 'Antiques Roadshow' instead.

Use the power wisely, oh parent.

Alda's recent post on arcane Icelandic naming conventions brought to mind a concept - no a THEORY if you will - that bubbled into my brain when we had our first child (my wife and I, not Alda and I).

There's a lot of weight in a name, and especially so when it's your responsibility to PICK one that your child will be saddled with for the rest of their life. Not only can the silly name you might be tempted to bestow upon them be just plain embarrassing, I would suggest that it can actually DEFINE who they become.

What I'm saying here is that if you call you son 'Nigel', then he's going to grow up to be a complete NIGEL. If you don't know anyone called Nigel, then take it from me that anyone I've ever known with that name has always been something of a dimwit. Mandy is another such name. Think of all the 'Mandy's' that you know. Would YOU want to be one ? Somehow, carrying the name around makes you take on personality traits of those people. 'Brittney' - Ditzy. 'Kevin' - a bit slow and dull. 'Paul' - quiet, a bit eccentric and nondescript. 'Michael' - bit of an arrogant streak.

If you think about it long enough with all the people you know, you'll see that I'm right. There ARE exceptions, I know, but in general it works pretty well.

Apologies to anyone of a certain naming persuasion offended by this post. You could always change your name to something better. Like Robert, for instance :-)

Ah, Fall.

I must have a short memory, or at least my mind is good at blanking things out. It happens every year that by the end of Summer, I'm just ready for an end to all things hot and can't WAIT for the cooler days of Fall and Winter.

Of course, during mid March when we've endured almost 6 months of horrible freezing, snowy, melty, crappy weather I just can't WAIT for the balmy warm days of Summer.

I can't imagine living somewhere where seasons occur only on the calendar, and not particularly in the weather outside. Always sunny and 70 degrees must get tiring sometime, right ? Right ?

Anyway, Fall here in New England is shaping up to be it's usual dazzling display of woodland colors. Judging by the number of tour buses and tourists in town this weekend, we're about at our peak for both leaves and 'leaf peepers'. Best to stay at home and enjoy looking at the foliage from inside until the onslaught is over.

Now, where did I put that snow shovel ?

And the secret is...

Apparently, a winning chili recipe contains beans. Mine, on the other hand contained 50 pounds of beef but not a single bean.

The perceptive among you will probably note that I did NOT win the Chili Cookoff. I did come in a solid joint 3rd, though (out of 4, but who's counting).

Being my first year and all, it's something of a learning experience and these are some of the lessons that I can offer to any would be Chili Cooker Offer:

- Drink more beer while making the Chili. Have some friends over. It takes a loooooong time.
- Use beans. The philistine public just can't handle a meaty chili (unless you're in Texas in which case I believe they will rope you to a wild horse if you don't have 100% beef).
- Make more than you think people could possibly eat. Then double it. Running out of product seriously hampers votes.
- Pick the SHADY side of the tent.
- Cook it at someone else's house. 3 days of chili smell really doesn't make you hungry.

Other than that, everyone had a good time. Music by The Half Moon Jug Band was excellent, especially their banner number 'Dead Skunk in the middle of the road'.
No, really it was.

Chili

Being a big tourist destination, there are times when our town is just chock-a-block with events, and this weekend is one such occasion. In the big run up to peak foliage season when all of the 'leaf peepers' in out and about, every organization, club, charity, store and church is out to part these lovely people from their money.

For the last two years, I've attended the 'Chili Cookoff'. For those who aren't American (still quite a few at last count, despite Bush's efforts to convert everyone) a 'cookoff' is simply a competition where people enter foodstuffs and the offerings are judged. In this case, by the paying public.

This year, I've boldly thrown my hat into the ring and I have prepared my best effort Chili as an entry for the Fire Department (which, though you might think it should be, is NOT that hot). So, for the last 2 days I have been cooking up tons of beef and spices in a pot on the stove that would do Macbeth's witches proud (no eye of newt in the recipe, though). I'm getting a bit sick of the smell of Chili, to be honest. However, it does taste pretty good.

Results will be forthcoming. Fingers crossed !