Perverse Pleasure

I know I shouldn't have - everyone says you shouldn't do it. I couldn't resist. I even got perverse pleasure from thinking about doing it.

It's been bugging me for days now, nagging at me to do something, but I have resisted.

The thing is big, hard and busting out. Today it's finally ready and I can't hold back any more. I take a while to get a good grip, just so, with my fingers and massage it until FINALLY it just explodes. BOY - does that feel SO good !

In your mid thirties, you just shouldn't have to do this kind of thing anymore. It’s not right. Somehow, I thought I'd left it all behind in my teenage years - the embarrassment, the funny looks.

But, it doesn’t last forever.

As I write, it is beginning to go down. Rather red, but that too will subside. Then it’ll just be a memory.

Damn pimple.

What is the world coming to ?

Many people may have missed the revelation earlier in the week that some states were giving free Viagra to sex offenders. This defies all logic. You lock someone away (at taxpayers expense) for some awful sex crime and then provide them with drugs to chemically assist them in getting an erection. I'd have thought that if they couldn't get it up, you'd kind of acheived your desired punishment. Then again, I'm not a psychologist or anything.

All of this comes a little closer to home this week, when the rumor mill begins to churn that a registered sex offender is moving to our little town (pop. 3000). Not just any old sex offender, but a CHILD sex offender. There has been a palpable change around here. We now lock our doors more during the day, schools and daycare facilities are on alert and every coffee shop conversation revolves around this guy. Somehow it doesn't seem fair - he's able to create victims without even stepping out of his door. Living in a climate of fear seems like an assault on our freedom.

I don't know what the solution is, but much like Nuclear waste, nobody wants the problem on THEIR doorstep.

Hurry, Scurry

It's hard to explain to those who haven't experienced the same sensation, but it takes some getting used to, I'll tell you. One minute you're sleepily enjoying the first sips of coffee and tucking into a bowl of granola, than BAM.

So it is that my beeper goes off at breakfast.

Here's something most people don't know, because the thought never crosses their mind - When you burn your toast and your fancy fire alarm goes off, summoning help from the fire department, THEY OFTEN HAVE TO WAKE US UP.

I'm not complaining about this, mind you, (well, Ok a tiny bit) just trying to educate the general public that your local FD probably is NOT a bunch of guys sitting around a room on bad used furniture watching reruns of 'Rescue 911'. A good portion of this country is staffed by Call or Volunteer departments, not by (badly paid) career personnel. We have to jump out of bed, drop what we're doing, find the car keys, navigate traffic (boy those red lights sure help), get to the station, get on our gear, get in the truck and drive to your house.

So, imagine you're in some giant spy plane with x-ray specs high up over my town when someone sets off their alarm, or (more rarely) actually lights their house on fire. It'd be kind of funny to see lots of little people suddenly jumping about, running around and dashing through town to get to the station - all for YOU.

I can still feel the adrenaline in my veins 30 minutes later. Or maybe its the caffeine.

So, next time you pick up the phone or burn the toast give a thought to the poor schlepps that are scurrying to your aid.

Discipline

Working from home takes focus and discipline.

So it is that I find myself watching cable TV at 3 O'Clock in the afternoon. I will take a work break shortly, promise.

Hot Stuff, baby !

This was a controlled drill to practice advancing on a burning propane installation, using water as a shield. Kind of hot, but also very cool.

Finally, the end of the beginning

For the last 9 months I have been sitting through the Firefighter 1 course. This is a 160 hour qualification designed to give Firefighters an entry level qualification that is accepted nationally (mostly). It's a real bugger. It may not seem like it, but that's a lot of time, especially when you've been out of the studying mode for a while (Depressingly it has now been 18 years since I last attended a place of higher learning). We have homework assignments, tests, reading and all of that jazz. Once in a while we even get to play with hoses, ladders and stuff. Not much fire, though.

I'm sure that most people would assume that Firefighters get trained to put out fire by, well, putting out fire. Not so ! In today's environmentally friendly world, it's increasingly hard to get State and Local Government to allow you to burn anything (that is, of course, unless your a homeowner in which case you can burn pretty any old hazardous crap you want). In 9 months, we have one day of 'live fire' training at the State Academy. Luckily, we also have a few real fires back in our own department to cut our teeth on.

I'm just glad it's over and I can get my Thursdays back. Thank God for TiVo, or else I'd have missed an entire season of CSI.